Sometimes I feel as if people don’t understand the trauma I went through. Sometimes it feels as if there are people who fail to see just how much trauma I went through, still going through, and how challenging this has been. I have had some negative experiences in my attempt with seeking financial support. My recovery is a lengthy one. I am still facing a life long disability. I am still going through agonizing pain at physiotherapy. I graduated to 1 lb weights in physio. Not without significant pain. I am still processing all of this with a Psychologists with ongoing assessment for PTSD, which Worker’s Compensation is not supporting me in. This continues to present with significant strain on my finances as I ration out food and get what I need for my home to make things just a little bit easier on me in my recovery. I know some people might hesitate but, if you are still thinking about financially supporting me there are ways to support other then through financial support.

I had one conversation that was rather stressful. There was this assumption on the part of the other that I could do more. It was a traumatic experience and I felt humiliated. I felt dehumanized. I felt unseen. I can’t do any more then what I am currently. I go to my physio, I go to therapy, I have biweekly conversations with people from Worker’s Compensation. I do my exercises at home for physio. I would work if I can but I am on their schedule not mine. I am subjected to their decisions. I have no control over it. I do what I can. I always have done what I can and so when people respond to me saying they only help those who help themselves really have no idea.

My recovery is slow, painful, and emotionally hard when you look at the things you were capable of which has been stripped away from you and now you are left to reach out for support, and really, any support is helpful.

Update with Employment

People are asking, what about work? What about getting a job? What about getting a part time job? What about this and what about that?

The first Phase in my return to work program as per legislation, I had to work with my employer on a gradual return to work program. My employers inability or unwillingness to follow my gradual return to work program, and their inability or unwillingness to accommodate my injuries made it so that Phase One of my gradual return to work has ended and we now move onto Phase two or perhaps we ended Phase One and Phase Two and now moving onto Phase Three. Anyways, Phase two or three is where we are at.

With this in mind, my Vocational Rehabilitation (VR) Worker has made the decision to end my current employment and now we move into the next phase of vocational rehabilitation. I now wait for Vocational Assessment. This will determine how they will empower me to return to work. They will assess my skills and abilities and match my experience and skill set towards getting trained up and back to work. Ideally, back up to the wage I was earning prior to my accident. I would like for this training to land me in a position where I had the same opportunities I had prior to my accident. This might require me to think outside the box a little.

Long Term Disability and Assessment for a Pension

With my injuries I am now classified as a person with a long term disability and will move forward in being assessed for ongoing financial support in the way of a Pension. I will be assessed so they can determine how much I will collect on this Pension. I just have to keep up with my physio a little while longer and then this assessment will see how far I have come in my Physiotherapy. I will most likely not regain my full range of motion so at this point I am just working towards being as functional with my left arm as much as possible. I have graduated to 1lb weights in my physio. I am so excited about this achievement. I can also raise my hand above my head but it causes significant pain and I can only achieve it with a bit of an angle. I can’t wash my hair with both hands. I can’t bathe myself with both hands. I find it extremely difficult and painful to dress myself. I am doing everything I can to just tell myself that things will improve and just maybe a time will come where the level of pain I experience will reduce but for now I endure significant pain and doing everything I can.